Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize