My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
