Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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