Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
