I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it because I queefed?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
