you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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