omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
