She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
