Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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