I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
