im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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