Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
