Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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