So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
