But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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