Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I AM VODKA MAN
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
