I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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