2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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