Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
