no you cant smoke seaweed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
