Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
