I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
