You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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