I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
