Your tits are I can't wait for
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
