Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
