I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
