I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
