currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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