You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
