she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
