Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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