they need to just BURY HIM!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
