Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
