oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a hot homeless man
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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