What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
