lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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