and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize