I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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