Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
