Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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