i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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