Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
