apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
