I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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