the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
