So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Two words: blizzard sex
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
