Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
