East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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