ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
