So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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