Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
