he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
