my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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