I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
