my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
