My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
either way he was missing a nipple.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
