I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just want nice things and good sex
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize