Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
