Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
