i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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