what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
