You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
