So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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