I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize