no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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