Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
