Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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