I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
