I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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