It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
