haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
